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’ ‘You don’t smoke.’ ‘Just give me a fucking cigarette.’ Tippi sat beside me and offered me her pack, I took one and she lit it. I didn’t cough, just inhaled like I used to all those years ago. She put the pack on the seat beside me and left her lighter there between us. ‘Your mascara has run.’ I said nothing. ‘Want to tell me?’ I remained silent. Tippi stood, patted my hand and said, ‘Come back inside when you’re feeling better.’ I knew I’d never feel better. She turned to go then stopped, turned again and sat back down. ‘This is about Jess, isn’t it?’ I nodded. There was a rustling behind us and she looked over her shoulder but I was unmoving, unable to move. I sensed Tippi stand and walk away. I knew who had arrived. ‘What do you want?’ Jess moved to stand in front of me. ‘Of course I knew. I wasn’t going to say that I wondered if we might have been lovers, we both knew that was never going to happen. I was going to say…’ she hesitated. I looked up with tear filled eyes. I saw the. " Nick sighed, after a short pause for thought. "Him I can pass off as selfishness, it's easy for me to believe it of him. Her... I still don't understand how she could go from being a mother to being a punchbag, but it was them, Marcus. They left, they couldn't make the grade, you didn't do anything wrong." Marcus managed a slight, wan smile for a moment, then continued."I... is... is she... " No, Marcus... she died when you were... not long after you came to live with me." Oh." He... they say he didn't kill her, but he did. He might not have actually thrown the punch at the time, but... she was a tiny little thing... and she drank too much, because he did."Hope nudged Marcus arm, nodding towards Nick, and it took him a second nudge to get the hint, but he leant forward and wrapped Nick in a hug, feeling him cry on his shoulder. What the hell do I do now! He thought, staring at Ally and Shawna on the sofa, but they could only shrug at him."I still miss her, you know... it's weird..
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